Telephobia

I love people. I love talking to people, I love meeting new people. I am super friendly and can be an excellent professional. I am even decent at networking. I love texting and hanging out with people all the time. I'm extremely extroverted and I feel lonely after being by myself for more than an hour or so. So you get the idea. I LOVE people.

However, there is one human interaction that I always dread.

That nasty telephone.

I hate it. I avoid it at all costs. I always have. When I was 8-years-old and I wanted to invite a friend over, I'd get my parent's permission first, and then hold the phone and pace for at least 10 minutes, psyching myself up and willing myself that I could do it. Then I would be on the phone for 30 seconds, max - only longer if my friend took forever asking their parents. It never was very bad, but I always had trouble making that first call.

I always worry, "What if this person doesn't want to talk to me?" or more often, "What if this person is sitting down to dinner and I disrupt everything?" Although, let's be real. Who really cares if someone calls during dinner? If its' important, they will call you back! But sometimes you don't think about this.

When you get older, you have to make a lot more phone calls, of course. Calling customer service is always the worst. Sometimes you get someone friendly, but you have to hold for half an hour. Sometimes the person on the other end doesn't speak your language very well, and sometimes they are grumpy and rude and don't want to talk to you as much as you don't want to have to talk to them. I had to call customer service for a program and piece of hardware at work once. I work in media but I am not very tech-savvy. Having a technician talk to you in words you don't even understand and try to explain it over the phone is disheartening at best.

It's not just customer service, though. Everyone hates that. No, it's calling for dentist appointments and calling friends or guitar students' parents or anyone. I don't even really like talking to my fiance on the phone. Granted, he's awesome, but there's just something annoying about hearing someone's voice and not seeing their face. I can't read people that way!

When I was a kid, I used to use it as an excuse that I was hearing impaired. I was born with a hearing loss, this is true, but it really doesn't affect my phone usage all that much. Granted, some people mumble and are difficult to hear, but they are annoying even to those with perfect hearing.

Right now, I'm planning my wedding. My fiance's cousin is a highly-celebrated florist in the area, and of course we are going to get her to do our flowers. However, I need to call her and make an appointment. I barely know her, but I think it would be easier if it were a total stranger. There's not much that's more awkward than talking to someone you kind of know that you're about to be related to. I mean, I'm sure there is something more awkward, but still, this sounds unpleasant.

But I also know that growing up means doing things you need to do, whether it's big things like pay bills and make tough decisions, or small things like calling your florist even when you don't want to. (Seriously, can't I just email her? I can do email with no problems!) There's also something personal about calling and talking to someone when you aren't able to talk face-to-face. Email is cold and clinical. We add smiley faces and too many "thank yous!" to convince ourselves otherwise, but it doesn't change the fact that we could be talking to this person and we choose not to.

Sometimes I get frustrated when I am with someone who is trying to make plans and they text their friend back and forth for half an hour. Why don't you just call them? I wonder. It would take about 30 seconds to decide everything and then you can move on with your life! But other people do the same thing I do. We text because it's easier. We text because you can ignore pleasantries or small talk. No "How are you? I haven't seen you in so long! We really need to get together more!" No, texts just open with "Hey" usually. That's it. We don't feel obligated to go much deeper than that when we aren't even hearing the other's voice. You can't see them and you can't hear them.

I guess what I am trying to get at is this: Make time for real people. See them in person if you can. If you can't, call them. Texting should be a means to an end. Use texts when you can't talk or just for very quick messages (i.e. "I'm on my way!") Let's not get so lazy that we avoid human interaction. It's OK if it's uncomfortable for a second before you call them. It happens.

I'm going to go call my florist after lunch today. I am! Because she might be excited to talk to me and I'll never know that if I just send her an email.

When you don't have time, make time

I'm the victim of the lie that our society believes: If you have free time, you aren't doing enough. i know that no one has ever said it, but that is the assumption. We are always moving, always busy, always stressed out.

I'm no exception. I work full-time, lead a worship team at church, teach zumba classes (they're seriously so much fun!), do makeup artistry and Mary Kay, and I run an etsy shop. So yeah, I am always busy. To top that off, I have an amazing boyfriend who happens to live 77 miles away from me, so I am always trying to "fit him in." But that's exactly the problem.

Let me back up for a second. A few weeks ago, I was listening to my co-worker talk about how she was overwhelmed. She explained all that she had to do and the things that people asked her to do. Finally I said, "Why don't you just say no?" The moment I said it, I realize that's the same thing for me too. I don't like to say no. I don't want to let people down.

But then I realized something important. If it's a church commitment and I don't have time for it, I need to say no and have faith that God will take care of this position. If I say yes and I am stressed out and over-stretched because of it, am I really giving my best for the kingdom of God? If I make myself physically ill because I have so much responsibility, am I taking care of myself? Is that being a good steward?

I know that everything comes down to priorities. What's important to you? What do you HAVE to do? What do you THINK you have to do, but you really don't? What stresses you out that doesn't need to stress you out?

Work is a priority for me, as it is for most people. Exercise is important, as it should be, as well as my church commitments. But then, I need to take time for me, and do things that I love to do. I need to spend my time investing in PEOPLE. I purposely leave my Friday nights without plans most weeks so that I have a moment to chill. I usually spend that time crocheting and talking with my mom or watching The Golden Girls.

God time needs to be a priority. "Me" time needs to be a priority, as well as the people who are most important to me. None of these have to be mutually exclusive. I can have God time while having "me" time. I can spend five minutes in my car reading my Bible before going in to Panera to meet my friends. I have realized that utilizing the minutes that slip away is the only way I can maximize my time.
I'm still learning, though. I'm learning not to beat myself up when I don't get everything done when I want to. I'm learning to relax and have fun and to give myself a break. I'm also learning how to chase all of my dreams without pushing myself to the breaking point. I know it's possible. But life's always a journey. I realize that I'm never going to "get there" because reaching the destination means the journey is over. I'm going to keep going and going, like the annoying Energizer Bunny, only less pink. (Ok, at least not fluffy pink...)

So I just want to leave you with this challenge: What is taking up your time that you THINK you have to do, but really you don't? What are your real priorities? How can you make time for the people who are important to you?