Telephobia

I love people. I love talking to people, I love meeting new people. I am super friendly and can be an excellent professional. I am even decent at networking. I love texting and hanging out with people all the time. I'm extremely extroverted and I feel lonely after being by myself for more than an hour or so. So you get the idea. I LOVE people.

However, there is one human interaction that I always dread.

That nasty telephone.

I hate it. I avoid it at all costs. I always have. When I was 8-years-old and I wanted to invite a friend over, I'd get my parent's permission first, and then hold the phone and pace for at least 10 minutes, psyching myself up and willing myself that I could do it. Then I would be on the phone for 30 seconds, max - only longer if my friend took forever asking their parents. It never was very bad, but I always had trouble making that first call.

I always worry, "What if this person doesn't want to talk to me?" or more often, "What if this person is sitting down to dinner and I disrupt everything?" Although, let's be real. Who really cares if someone calls during dinner? If its' important, they will call you back! But sometimes you don't think about this.

When you get older, you have to make a lot more phone calls, of course. Calling customer service is always the worst. Sometimes you get someone friendly, but you have to hold for half an hour. Sometimes the person on the other end doesn't speak your language very well, and sometimes they are grumpy and rude and don't want to talk to you as much as you don't want to have to talk to them. I had to call customer service for a program and piece of hardware at work once. I work in media but I am not very tech-savvy. Having a technician talk to you in words you don't even understand and try to explain it over the phone is disheartening at best.

It's not just customer service, though. Everyone hates that. No, it's calling for dentist appointments and calling friends or guitar students' parents or anyone. I don't even really like talking to my fiance on the phone. Granted, he's awesome, but there's just something annoying about hearing someone's voice and not seeing their face. I can't read people that way!

When I was a kid, I used to use it as an excuse that I was hearing impaired. I was born with a hearing loss, this is true, but it really doesn't affect my phone usage all that much. Granted, some people mumble and are difficult to hear, but they are annoying even to those with perfect hearing.

Right now, I'm planning my wedding. My fiance's cousin is a highly-celebrated florist in the area, and of course we are going to get her to do our flowers. However, I need to call her and make an appointment. I barely know her, but I think it would be easier if it were a total stranger. There's not much that's more awkward than talking to someone you kind of know that you're about to be related to. I mean, I'm sure there is something more awkward, but still, this sounds unpleasant.

But I also know that growing up means doing things you need to do, whether it's big things like pay bills and make tough decisions, or small things like calling your florist even when you don't want to. (Seriously, can't I just email her? I can do email with no problems!) There's also something personal about calling and talking to someone when you aren't able to talk face-to-face. Email is cold and clinical. We add smiley faces and too many "thank yous!" to convince ourselves otherwise, but it doesn't change the fact that we could be talking to this person and we choose not to.

Sometimes I get frustrated when I am with someone who is trying to make plans and they text their friend back and forth for half an hour. Why don't you just call them? I wonder. It would take about 30 seconds to decide everything and then you can move on with your life! But other people do the same thing I do. We text because it's easier. We text because you can ignore pleasantries or small talk. No "How are you? I haven't seen you in so long! We really need to get together more!" No, texts just open with "Hey" usually. That's it. We don't feel obligated to go much deeper than that when we aren't even hearing the other's voice. You can't see them and you can't hear them.

I guess what I am trying to get at is this: Make time for real people. See them in person if you can. If you can't, call them. Texting should be a means to an end. Use texts when you can't talk or just for very quick messages (i.e. "I'm on my way!") Let's not get so lazy that we avoid human interaction. It's OK if it's uncomfortable for a second before you call them. It happens.

I'm going to go call my florist after lunch today. I am! Because she might be excited to talk to me and I'll never know that if I just send her an email.